April 24th, 2025 - Azra Mowlana
Starter’s Guide to Therapy
Choosing a Therapist
Most therapists offer complimentary initial consultations. These sessions provide an opportunity for both you and the therapist to determine whether there is a good mutual fit based on your goals, the therapist’s areas of expertise, scheduling availability, fees and insurance, and overall rapport. We typically recommend attending at least three sessions before making a decision about continuing therapy. In some cases, a therapist may refer you to another provider if they believe it would better serve your needs.Many online directories offer helpful filters to narrow down your search, including specialization, language, gender, ethnicity, and community affiliations. One resource we recommend is www.InclusiveTherapists.com, which highlights providers committed to cultural responsiveness and accessibility.
Session Frequency
Therapy often begins with weekly sessions to establish a strong foundation. However, we recognize that financial and scheduling constraints may affect this. Over time, you and your therapist may agree to adjust the frequency of sessions—either reducing them or shifting to periodic check-ins as needed. It is also completely normal to increase the frequency or reinitiate therapy during times when additional support is needed.Telehealth Services
As an online-based practice, we’ve found that teletherapy enhances accessibility, flexibility, and comfort for many clients. Virtual sessions allow clients to engage from a location of their choosing, remain off-camera if preferred, or even walk during sessions, which some find particularly grounding.We have also seen effective results from conducting EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy virtually. For trauma work, being in a familiar environment can be grounding and may ease the emotional intensity of sessions. To ensure the best outcomes, we recommend a strong internet connection to minimize disruptions, especially for modalities like EMDR that require precise timing.
Navigating Ruptures in the Therapeutic Relationship
It is not uncommon for tensions or “ruptures” to arise in the therapeutic relationship. These moments can prompt clients to consider changing therapists or ending therapy altogether. However, we encourage addressing these concerns directly in session. Discussing a rupture can offer an opportunity for repair, promote emotional resilience, and model healthy conflict resolution.Therapy often brings up challenging emotions, and feeling frustrated or defensive is part of the process. These reactions can surface in the client-therapist dynamic and, when addressed thoughtfully, may help move you closer to your therapeutic goals—even if that means eventually parting ways with your therapist.
Confidentiality
Establishing trust takes time, especially when discussing personal and sensitive matters. Therapists are legally and ethically bound to maintain confidentiality. Exceptions to this include situations where there is a clear risk of harm to yourself or others, or when required by law. Therapists may also consult with trusted clinical peers to ensure they are delivering the highest standard of care—these discussions exclude identifying details.You may also choose to sign a release of information, allowing your therapist to communicate with other professionals such as doctors, psychiatrists, or other therapists. This is often useful when coordinating care or transitioning to a new provider.
Ongoing and Expanded Care
It is completely normal to work with different therapists throughout your life. As your needs evolve, you may benefit from different therapeutic styles or specializations. You might also choose to complement therapy with other forms of support, such as group therapy, 12-step programs, psychiatric care, coaching, or other specialized modalities. Therapy is a flexible and adaptive resource that can grow with you over time.March 4th, 2025 - Azra Mowlana
Emotionally Immature Parents: Understanding, Healing, and Moving Forward
As conversations about mental health continue to evolve on social media, many adults are finding solace and community in discussing their experiences with emotionally immature or toxic family members. Terms like "narcissistic parents," "gaslighting," and "family toxicity" have gained traction as people seek to understand and heal from childhood wounds. While some encourage repairing family relationships, others emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing personal well-being.
What Defines Emotional Immaturity?
Rather than focusing on specific diagnoses, emotional immaturity is best understood as a pattern of chronic behaviors that create ongoing interpersonal tension. Simply put, emotionally immature individuals struggle to regulate their emotions and have difficulty respecting or acknowledging the emotions of others.
Some common traits of emotionally immature individuals include:
A preference for situations where they maintain control.
Avoidance of emotionally intimate interactions.
Disregard for reasonable boundaries or requests.
An inability to take accountability for harmful behavior, often justifying or minimizing its impact.
Difficulty managing emotions, leading to explosive reactions or abrupt relationship cut-offs.
A tendency to make others feel like they must walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting them.
The Impact of an Emotionally Immature Parent
Research indicates that children raised by emotionally immature parents are at a higher risk of developing anxiety, depression, addiction, and patterns of unhealthy relationships. Without intervention, these children may unknowingly replicate the dysfunctional dynamics they experienced in childhood, leading to cycles of pain in both personal and professional relationships.
Healing as an Adult Child
Recovery looks different for everyone, which is why working with a trained professional can help you process your experiences and gain clarity. Many individuals struggle to recognize the extent of the emotional abuse they endured, as it often felt "normal" growing up. Children naturally internalize their parents' reactions and may not realize when they are being manipulated or emotionally neglected.
Once a therapist understands your unique experience, you may collaborate on creating realistic goals such as setting boundaries, tolerating stressful interactions, managing interactions, or finding ways to self-validate your historically invalidated grief and anger. Common evidence-based treatments include:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – Effective for processing trauma and reducing distressing memories.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helps identify and change negative thought patterns.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – Teaches emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.
Family Systems / Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Explores the impact of family dynamics on personal development.
For further exploration, we provide a list of recommended books and resources on this topic.
Making the Decision to Set Boundaries
After deep reflection and therapy, some individuals choose to distance themselves from an emotionally immature parent or family member. This decision can be both liberating and painful, often accompanied by feelings of guilt and self-doubt. If you have been subjected to gaslighting, you may find yourself questioning your choice repeatedly. Therapy provides a safe space to process these emotions, validate your experiences, and reinforce your confidence in your decisions.
The Benefits of Healing
Effective treatment can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse. Clients often report increased joy, stronger relationships, and improved self-esteem. Many also recognize the positive ripple effect their healing has on their own families, friendships, and workplaces.
In cases where traditional talk therapy does not fully alleviate distress, EMDR has been particularly effective in helping clients build self-confidence while lessening the emotional weight of painful memories.
Taking the Next Step
If you are ready to begin your healing journey, we invite you to schedule a free consultation. Seeking support is a courageous step toward breaking cycles of emotional immaturity and reclaiming your peace.